There are many ways of thinking about how and why counselling or psychotherapy works. This blog invites a discussion in order to help those of you who are curious about therapy but don’t know how, or if, it could help you.

We can discuss the general theory of how counselling might help and we can also look at those moments in therapy that allowed us to see everything differently or allowed us finally to make an important decision.

To start off in a theoretical way – contemporary psychotherapy is based on relationship theory on the one hand and trauma theory on the other hand.

An ‘intimate relationship’ as opposed to a ‘relationship of alienation’ (Meares,R 2000, 2005) is one which facilitates change and growth. In such a relationship, we feel accepted, not judged and are more willing to be ‘ourselves’. From within such a relationship, a therapeutic relationship, we can explore our perspectives, values, beliefs, emotional states, motivations and intentions-make decisions, take action and move forward…

We can process our experience in this safe setting of ‘intimacy’. Eventually we may be able to process traumatic experiences as well.

The process of forming a safe relationship in therapy – one in which the work of therapy can be done-is easy for some people. But for those who have been traumatised forming a safe relationship takes time and is the major task of therapy. This process is unique for each person …..

So this is a start to our discussion – I look forward to your ideas, insights and for those who have done therapy – your experiences – particularly those personal or relationship moments that made the differences in your life.

References: Intimacy and Alienation – memory, trauma and personal being. Meares, Russell 2000. Routledge.